Holiday Ramblings

It’s pretty normal for me to be an emotional mess around the holidays. That’s far from a news flash for the people that know me. This year is different though…emotional mess doesn’t even begin to describe it. Today has probably been the most emotional day though…I have basically been crying or fighting back the tears all day.

This year has been nothing short of a struggle for my husband and me. Reintigration after a deployment sucks ass and we have both struggled tremendously with it. We both hit a pretty low point today and it was tough. Tears were shed, raw feelings were shared, and a plan to make it all better was put in place. I am looking forward to what next year will bring and I am ready for the hard work it will entail.

So, after all that, we had Christmas at my parent’s house. We got there four hours early (I swear my mom told me 2pm..lol), so it was nice to be able to hang out with my parents before my brother and his family arrived. At 6pm, we had a nice dinner and then opened presents. My family was amazingly gracious and I am so grateful that I am so blessed. I don’t even feel like I deserve it..

My heart was also very heavy today and I thought about families that don’t get to celebrate with their families for various reasons. I cried for the families of the Newtown victims and the Topeka officers who have just begun the grieving process. I cried for the soldiers that are deployed and unable to be with their families right now. My heart goes out to people that don’t get to spend the holidays with their family for any reason- work, distance, death.   

Now, I am kicked back with a bottle of wine and reflecting on just how grateful I am for the life I have been given. My husband never gives up on me…or us. One of my best friends gave me one of the most heartfelt gifts today I have ever gotten…she even made it…which means even more after our few failed craft attempts. 🙂 I am also so lucky to have her daughter (soon) call me Aunt (Granola) Kim. I have a father that is one of the most unselfish people I have ever known…if i am eventually half the (wo)man he is, I will consider my life lived. I have a mother that is emotional like me and has a huge heart…and there is rarely a dull moment when she is around. I have a brother and sister in law that are doing an awesome job raising my nieces to be amazing little people. Nobody saw that coming from Brian, but I sure am happy that it turned out this way. I have a nephew that I miss tremendously…so, Nick if you are reading this, ANSWER MY TEXTS!!! I love you no matter what…don’t ever forget that. I have Vicki….who has seen me through some of my darkest moments and I always come out laughing. I have awesome officers that I work for- YES,  I SAID THAT I WORK FOR THEM!!! As much as some of them annoy me sometimes , I still love them all and an SOOOOO thankful that they do the job they do.  And the ‘small token of appreciation’ that I recieved last week and the text that I recieved today makes it all worth it. And to that person- you may consider it small, but it is something I will never forget. I have several angels that watch over me everyday…I miss you all!!! Above all, I have a God that loves me even though I haven’t visited Him lately. Sometimes fear, shame, and guilt get the best of me…but I know that He loves me unconditionally and I am so grateful for that. I am so lucky.

Sometimes everything has to fall apart in order for all the pieces to be put back together right. I getting back to the basics tomorrow. I am going to live my life again and not hold myself back. Yes, there will be struggles and I will have days that I don’t want to get out of bed, but that’s ok. I have so much to be thankful for. The ‘old’ Kim is coming back…she’s been hiding too long. It’s gonna be a long journey….but I am taking it one step at a time.

Take a minute in all the madness of the holidays to stop and thank God for all you have.

Merry Christmas to all of you and may your new year be full of health, peace, and happiness.

Super Easy Pepperoni Pizza Balls!

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Let me start by saying that I did not create this recipe…but I cannot remember where I got it from either. There are so many websites that I peruse and just print the recipie, so I apologize for not knowing the source. Here is my version though:

1 can of refrigerated biscuits

1/2 cup shredded Italian blend cheese

1 tablespoon (heaping) of minced garlic

1 tablespoon (or more if you want) Italian seasoning

4oz  turkey pepperoni (I use the mini ones so that I don’t have to cut the big ones)

Directions

Preheat the oven in 375. Cut up the biscuits and place them in a large bowl. Add the remaining ingredients and mix well. Spray a muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray and fill each cup about 3/4 full of the mixture. Bake for 9-11 minutes. Usually makes about 12 pizza balls.

THAT’S IT!!

So very easy- I make these for the hubby and he really likes them. They are so simple and you could add anything you want. I think I’ll try some hamburger or italian sausage ones next time…you could even do veggie ones! They freeze and reheat well too, which is always a plus!

Let me know if you try these- I would love to hear your feedback!