Reflections on 2014…and Looking Forward to 2015

As we begin 2015, I can’t help but reflect back on 2014. It was a tough year. There were times that I wondered if the year was going to ever draw to an end. There were times I doubted that I was strong enough to survive the year. It was a year of new beginnings, a year to leave the past there, and a year that changed my life forever.

Without my friends and family, there is no doubt that I would not have made it through last year as well as I did. I have an amazing family. My parent’s have become two of my closest friends and when I tried to go into hiding, they wouldn’t allow it. They made sure to call me and check up on me regularly and I am forever grateful to have such wonderful people to call my own.

I can’t even put into words how much my friends have supported me. I know there were probably times they wanted to just throw their hands up and walk away…but they didn’t. They stood at my side through all the highs and lows of the year. They gave me space when I needed it and drug me out in public when I didn’t want to go. I obviously can’t name them all here…but I have to give an extra shout out to a few of them:

  • ​​Vicki – When I say I don’t know where I would be without you, that is no exaggeration. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You have taught me so much about life, you are one of the strongest people I know, you are the best friend I could ever ask for, and I am so happy that you are my person. Thank you for always supporting me, for making me laugh until I cry, and for just being you. I am so lucky to have you.
  • ​The Vegas Crew – Thank you so much for convincing me to go…it was a much-needed break from life. And, well, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…unless you are Janelle…then it gets posted all over Facebook. Ha!
  • ​’Top 3′ – You know who you are. Thank you. Thank you for letting me cry like a blubbering idiot when I was scared and confused. Thank you for helping me realize that ‘my officers’ are going to be ok, for making me laugh, and for sending me random texts to let me know you are still alive. Thank you for just letting me be me. You will always be in my top three!
  • ​My work people (past, present, and future) – You all have taught me so much. I have seen you stand tall in the face of fear. I have heard one side of the radio scream for help and the other side not even skip a beat while putting out an assist…all while not breathing until we know you are all safe. I have seen more amazing teamwork I have ever seen…and afterwards, I sat back in awe. And then cried in my car. I have had officers come to me to talk about bad calls (which is an incredible honor) and have officers literally cry on my shoulder over the horrors that they have seen. I have seen my fellow dispatchers laugh, cry, argue, and even blatantly ignore each other at times. But, in the end, we are all one big dysfunctional family and we will always prevail.
  • ​To the man most commonly referred to as ‘The Idiot’ – I don’t even know where to start with you. Just for clarification, the term ‘Idiot’ is an endearing term and he isn’t really an idiot…well, not all the time anyway. I am so thankful that our paths in life have crossed again. I knew when we met ten years ago that we would be friends for a long time. Life took us in different directions for a while, but some people are just meant to be in each other’s lives forever…and there is no doubt that we are two of those people. You helped me through the last few months of the divorce and reminded me of the person I was when we first met. Just when I started to think she was long gone, you have helped me bring her back. You make me laugh until my stomach hurts, you comfort me when I’m emotional, and you make me smile even when I am mad. You have been my nurse, my DD, and my sounding board. Thank you for reminding me that not everything in life has to be planned, for making me see that I have to disconnect, and for always encouraging me. You’re stuck with me now, guy.

My divorce was final in October. What a horrible process that was! I am so glad that it is over and I am honestly glad that Tom has found love again. I am happy for him as he has a baby on the way. Divorce tends to bring out the worst in people, and mine did just that. I lost friends that I never thought I would lose and I found support in the most unexpected places. I made it through this process a hell of a lot stronger than when I started. I am not mad, disappointed, or a man hater. Everything happens for a reason…and we just weren’t meant to be together. I don’t need for people to apologize to me for my divorce; I’m good. That chapter of my life is over and it’s time for everyone to move on.

I am sure there will be many changes coming this year. In fact, there are already several in the works. This is my life and I need to start living it for myself. I am going to do a lot of things this year for me. I will always be a caring and giving person and will help a friend in need at any given time. That will never change. I have to start caring about myself also. I am getting healthy, both mentally and physically. I am doing things that make me happy. I am thinking outside of the box and trying new things. It’s time to stop looking in the rearview mirror and start looking forward. This is the year of Kim…and it’s going to be a great one.